Big Bang & Company Auditions

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3-February-2014 @ 23:00 – 4-February-2014 @ 02:00
The Staircase
27 Dundurn Street North
Hamilton, ON L8R 3C9


To be performed at the 2014 HAMILTON FRINGE THEATRE FESTIVAL (July 17 – 27, 2014).

Pirates! Zombies! Chicken? Fast Food Love: The Musical! is a musical for people who… well, don’t like musicals! So come down for a laugh and audition for this non-traditional show.

Cluck the System.


All auditionees will be required to sing an up-tempo pop song (acapella) and read a character monologue.

The Staircase Cafe Theatre, The Multipurpose Room

Sunday February 2nd (12-4:30pm)
Monday February 3rd (6pm-9pm)

To schedule an audition time (and to receive a character monologue in advance), please email:

**Walk-ins are welcome, but booking an audition appointment is strongly advised.

For more information about Big Bang & Company and the crew behind “Fast Food Love: The Musical!” visit:



The plot centres around Steve, the videogame-obsessed manager of the fast food restaurant, Chicken’s Hit Wings. Upon receiving news that his star employee has decided to quit without notice, Steve is forced to hire Candice, an attractive combo-savvy customer, on the spot to fill his place. When Steve finally thinks he has everything under control, he learns that head office will be shutting down his restaurant location in order to build a more profitable fast food chicken establishment (JFC) down the road. Throughout the summer, Steve tries to keep the restaurant afloat, but will Chicken’s Hit Wings survive the wrath of corporate greed and domination?



STEVE (MALE, EARLY TO MID TWENTIES) – The manager at Chicken’s Hit Wings. Eccentric and nerdy. Believes in love, honesty, and restaurant sanitation. Has never had much of a social life due to his passion for videogame development. He often will spend his Saturday evenings playing World of Warcraft until 2am or building a new character costume for the next Comicon convention. Has has never had a real girlfriend (but has made many attractive female avatars online!).

CANDICE (FEMALE, EIGHTEEN TO MID TWENTIES) – The new girl at Chicken’s Hit Wings who possesses a Girl-Next-Door appeal. Is a vegan with an Art degree. She believes that learning to live sustainably is one of the most important lessons of our time. Is passionate about education, living a healthy lifestyle, and being kind to her fellow neighbour. Took the job at Chicken’s Hit Wings because she was broke and couldn’t find a job anywhere else.

PHIL (MALE, EARLY TO MID TWENTIES) – The stoner employee at Chicken’s Hit Wings who is Steve’s best friend in the restaurant. Is a big fan of getting high and watching Lord of the Rings, the Walking Dead, or Beetlejuice. Works at Chicken’s Hit Wings because 1) Steve asked him to and 2) He gets free food when he has the munchies. Is often told that he is reminiscent of Keanu Reeves as Ted in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”.

The perverted employee at Chicken’s Hit Wings who loves anything and everyone with breasts (Chicken included). Has been working at Chicken’s Hit Wings since he was 17 years old and has no plans to move forward. He also still lives with his mother. Randy takes pride in his ability to turn any situation into a sexual innuendo, no matter how offensive. 

KATIE (FEMALE, EARLY TO MID TWENTIES) – The “I hate life and am only working in here so I can get out of this town” employee at Chicken’s Hit Wings. A radical feminist that is very sensitive to sexist comments and anything that may remotely disrespect the female gender. Often described as the “bitch” of the group, and as such, does not have that many friends. Loves early Alanis Morissette and Tori Amos. She has a love-hate relationship with the TV show “Girls”.

FIONA (FEMALE, EIGHTEEN TO MID TWENTIES) – The daddy’s little rich girl employee at Chicken’s Hit Wings who was forced to get a job after she crashed her father’s convertible into the pool. Is the ultimate “airhead” stereotype who loves her cell phone, diamonds, pink, and all things sparkly. What she loves most of all, however, is My Little Pony. Fiona is a die-hard My Little Pony fan who has a popular Tumblr account based on “Brony” culture. She knows all of the My Little Pony inside-jokes, and has created several popular My Little Pony Memes that have gone viral on the internet.

BOB RATTINSON (MALE, EARLY TO MID TWENTIES) – British movie star of the famous Highlight vampire teen film series. Very much into his image, spirituality, and helping the less fortunate as a means to benefit his image. Recently completed his first round of rehab. His party-hard superstar girlfriend, however, was not very supportive of his recovery and chose to publicly cheat on him in front of the paparazzi. This, in turn, led to a nasty breakup fight both in-person and in the tabloids. Rob remains broken-hearted.

CHICKITA: A parody hen that provides hilarious dancing and singing support during all musical numbers. Adores fast food, a good-value combo, and song.
DISSATISFIED CUSTOMER: A hungry customer who is treated poorly by Chicken’s Hit Wings Staff and retaliates by leaving the restaurant and flipping off the staff.
SCREAMING FAN: Wishes she was Bella in the Highlight vampire teen series just so she could feel what it would be like to be abstinent with the super-hot Rob Rattinson (aka Edlord Cullen).

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